In life it there are times when things appear out of our control. Life events, relationships, and projects become disordered at random intervals. We find ourselves asking the question, “How the heck did I get here. Why is there so much pain in my life.” I find myself from time to time asking the same question. We all do.
I believe there are strong applications scientific concept called entropy. This is a theory that says everything is moves toward disorder. Sometimes that is exactly what life feels like. Things are great one minute and chaotic the next. We are left asking, “why?”
As things move into a state of disorder, the concept reveals second purpose—equilibrium. For example, when things in our environment are moving toward disorder, our internal selves align with disorder. By the time we realize pain, the disorder has already begun. Our natural reaction is to reverse the pain and bring equilibrium externally and internally.
Pain can take the form of loved one’s death, financial insecurity, physical impairment, and even life stagnation. Some things can be fixed and others cannot be resolved. The dis-resolution of pain, can intensify current feelings of pain and you find yourself on an emotional roller coaster.
Take a moment and answer this question, what is your greatest source of pain? What life event have you experienced that has made you feel internally disordered? Our answers will depend on the various circumstances and factors in each person’s life. Everyone experiences some sort of pain.
On a quantum level, pain is simply energy. On a philosophical level pain at its core is discomfort with the present. Part of the key to change is to uses this energy effectively. This discomfort and desire to create equilibrium is the catalyst that we need to create change.
When we experience pain, we end up running away, hiding, or fighting. Sometimes we can be in pain and not eave realize it until we have lashed out at others. We use other people as shields to deflect, anymore heartache. We spend time putting on a mask and airs, in an effort to hide as well. Other times, we run away by giving up completely. We drop projects, leave friendships and relationships and quit when jobs become too hard. Sometimes it is necessary, other times we fight.
Fighting toward your breakthrough is ideal when things there is a chance to create some equilibrium in your life. In order to fight you need tools.
The first thing you need to do is get real with yourself. If you have been walking putting on airs you are not healing, it is building up and you will explode. Become very honest about lies you have told yourself. Don’t compare your internal happiness to someone else’s’ external happiness. You never know what pain the other person it going through, and you do not know which mask they are wearing.
Second, change your way of thinking about the situation. Combat negative thought with positive affirmation. While this might sound cliché, there are some merits to this. You are building yourself up and creating a can do attitude. Instead of using this energy to propel yourself into a cycle of more sadness, anger and depression, use this energy to gain clarity and direction. When you are honest with yourself, you begin to see strategies and next steps. Do you want to stay in your current state of mind or do you need to fix the issue? If so how?
Third, Follow up “it’s hard to do’s” with actual written plans to move forward. Instead of saying that something cannot be done and dismiss the idea, go with the alternative. Sometimes the realities that we have created in our minds are not true of our current realities. Have you ever told yourself, that you are unable to do something in one situation, but you can do it in another? We hold back ourselves by believing our own lies. Writing down your plans, can get yourself out of your head and visualize possibilities better.
