When accomplishing goals, we can be our own worst enemy. Half of the time we do not realize the effects of our actions until it is too late. We begin to feel stuck, and desperately search for a way out. However, if we identify some behaviors that hold us back, we can begin to turn things around and become our best selves. Here are 10 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself.
Spending Time With the Wrong People
We all have that friend who plans parties, get togethers or shopping trips. However, when you ask them about their life goals. The respond that they are taking life on day at a time. Sure, they want nice things (ie. Big house, Maserati) but are not doing anything productive to attain them. Today, talk is cheap. We also have the friend that is comfortable right where they are. They have no plans whatsoever. They only want to focus on being, happy. But not, you want happiness, but you also want more. You want to make an impact. You want financial freedom. Unfortunately, the only one you have is you. If is up to you to surround yourself with people who are accomplishing things in their life. They can give you the tips and encouragement and assistance to actually do them. Otherwise, you end up only talking about doing things or you end up comfortable.
Holding on to the Past
This might be a little tough love for you, but LET IT GO. Turn away and slam the door! That past has passed. Today is a new day. This is your opportunity to make changes and start cultivating the life that you want to build. Living is an art. Take those negative experiences and use them as fuel to drive your destiny in the right direction. Embrace any new negativity as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Being Afraid of Making Mistakes
I admit this is my biggest problem. Fearing the emergence of emotions as a result of making a mistake can be one of the biggest roadblocks that you can encounter. There was once a time as a teenager, that I called to performed an impromptu prayer. Boy did I mess that prayer up! It was so embarrassing. The same feeling, I am remember each time when asked to speak! It makes me shy away from anything impromptu. Fortunately, I can count on times where I got up well prepared and gave a small talk. So to get through my fears of making a mistake in public speaking, I have to think about a time where I made a mistake, people laughed, but I shrugged it off and kept moving. You have to learn what you are comfortable with and maximize it. It is an area that I am trying to grow in daily. It takes time.
Trying to buy happiness
Before, I lost weight, I would eat like no other when I was stressed. If I felt overwhelmed by a test, presentation, or argument, there would be nothing like huge meal to take my mind off it and then to celebrate it once it was over! The feeling of pleasure that I got from that release was exactly what I thought I needed. Before I knew it I was 230lbs and counting! Perhaps you have a habit that you engage in when you are unhappy or stressed. It can be binge eating, binge shopping, drinking or smoking. Identify what wounds you are trying to bandage and make a commitment to redirect to an alternatively productive activity.
Thinking in you are not ready
The great Imposter Syndrome, gets the best of us! When ever we are looked to as an expert our immediate reaction is to pull a blanket over our heads. Your mind swirls with self-created thoughts as to what others are thinking about you. I call it the little gremlin. Mine comes under the disguise of loving care and whispers things like: “you aren’t as experienced at this person” , “are you sure you can do this well”, “you should decline and study more”. Then it turns a bit sinister: “why are they recognizing you; you haven’t don’t anything THAT important”. All of these things the little gremlin will tell you, may actually have some truths in them, but overall it is lies. You will identify with the truths and automatically accept the lie. Instead of accepting lies, begin telling yourself that you are worth it.
Trying to compete against everyone else
This is counter intuitive to everything we have been taught. You have to be #1 in this sport, have the highest score in class, or big the biggest bodybuilder! All of these are lies we tell ourselves. Instead of building us up, it breaks us down. Instead we should begin focusing on how to be our best selves. Realign with personal growth and as you grow and compete with yourself. You will find that you just might surpass others, and if you don’t have the biggest mansion, then you will be fine.
Following the easiest path
Sometimes we get comfortable with mediocrity. The way you know you are living in mediocre way is that you are constantly thinking about doing something more with your life. When we make the first step to actually accomplish something, we tell ourselves to take the path that looks the easiest. We attempt to find every shortcut there is to reach the end result. Sometimes, this is not the best method, you need to go through tough challenges to really determine who you are and to discover new possibilities long the way.. Don’t take the path of least resistance every time. Challenge yourself to bring out the greatness within you.
Acting like everything is okay, when it is not.
No, I don’t not mean wear your life on your sleeve! What I do mean is being more vulnerable. Being vulnerable helps us to discover and connect with our authenticity. For too long, we have been conditioned and reinforced when we keep everything to ourselves. This contributes to the feeling that everyone is more successful than you and you are the only one going through a struggle. This is far from the true. Behind those half smiles, you can find sadness, anger and worry. We all need to learn to be a bit more vulnerable, and stop acting as if our lives are perfect. There is no one who keeps it 100%. Don’t be afraid asking for help.
Trying to be everything to everyone.
You can not solve all things. Sure you may be good a lot of things, but what is more efficient and effective for you is to focus on the thing you can be most effective at! When you find your time consumed in fixing other people’s worries and problems, you begin to neglect your self.
Worrying
While it is easier said than done, eliminating excessive worry from our lives is necessary. I used to be a constant worrier. I still do at times, but about stupid stuff like making mistakes, or random events that occur to throw my life of track. Worry is nothing but a defensive tool. What I find is that as we focus on our fears, we are using precious time and emotional energy to “prepare” for the worst. The things that we worry about are typically self-created fears. The thoughts create tangible emotional feeling that either inhibits us or causes us to act. For me, worry, makes me procrastinate. Sometimes, the best thing to do is take a risk. It is absolutely possible to take a positive thought and feel it just as deeply as the negative one, but it takes some time, patience, and discipline.
