Following The Rules
Recently, I took a day trip to North Carolina with my family. We were standing in the checkout line. There was a cashier that looked a bit shelved as if he had just woken up and made a mad dash to work. He came through the door apologizing discreetly to his coworker who was to clock out upon his arrival. He was trying as quickly as possible to get logged into the terminal.
It appeared to give him a bit of trouble. He began to apologize to those waiting. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the shift manager comes walking quickly passed me and approached him-leaving personal space to be something desired. She began spouting off the handbook’s procedure for tardiness in one of the most condescending of tones. Then proceeded to address all of the coworkers in the vicinity with a underhanded threat of being fired if they did not follow the rules.
What Would You Do
Customers in line were growing a bit agitated, but the supervisor’s approach did not cast a good light on her or the store. After she had walked out, several customers began to offer support to the employee that had gotten the brunt of the verbal lashing. Even when I go to the register, I asked engaged with him to take his mind off what had just occurred. I could tell he was a bit embarrassed.
It can be incredibly challenging to manage a situation where you are berated or mistreated in a professional setting, especially in front of customers or other employees. I told him that I admired his composure and hope that his day gets better. I could empathize with him in that moment. While I am usually never late, I do realize that things come up that can throw us off timewise.
While he could have gotten caught up in the tone that was directed towards him, grabbed his wallet and headed back out of the store, he remained detached from anger acknowledging that being late is unacceptable. His reaction was a good model for other to follow. Perhaps, you have encountered a situation such as this. Think back to how you handled it. What could you have done differently?
How to Handle Public Criticism
In fact with all of the challenges taking place nationwide, toxic bosses are literally on the rise too! Will you be equipped to handle the forces when it is your turn?
Here are a few ideas you can share with others who may find themselves in this scenario:
Stay Calm
It’s easy to react emotionally, but it’s essential to remain composed. Keep your voice level, and your responses polite and professional. Never get caught up in the tone of the moment. Use it only as an information gathering moment to understand the person who is talking to you. They will not know the entire situation. Do not allow their ignorance to or inability contextualize an event, disturb you.
Do not Retaliate
If the berating is happening in front of customers or colleagues, it’s better not to fight back or argue at the same moment. Doing so might escalate the situation and harm your professional image. It can lead you to getting black-balled for future opportunities. The last thing you want is the perpetrator playing victim when you are only defending yourself. Remember, some people want to put on a show.
Discuss the Incident in Private
Ask for a private meeting with your supervisor. Communicate your feelings about what happened without being confrontational. Use “I” statements to express how you feel, rather than “you” statements which may come across as accusatory. For example, “I felt humiliated when I was criticized in front of the team, and I would prefer if we could discuss such matters privately.”
Lean on your team members
If others have witnessed the berating, they can corroborate your experience. They might also be experiencing similar treatment. However, be careful not to turn this into gossip, and make sure your discussions remain professional and focused on resolving the issue. Be open to honest feedback you receive. Also, if you witness this, you should actively support your coworkers, without getting too caught up in the details. Offer a word of support to help them get back on the right emotional state. There is no need to offer advice if it is unsolicited. People will remember if you leave them stranded in time of need.
Seek Mediation.
Depending on their approach and personality, you may feel uncomfortable speaking directly with your supervisor or if your past discussions have not led to any change, consider talking to Human Resources or another higher-up. They can facilitate a conversation or address the issue directly. It is important to write down as much detail about the incident as you can recall, including date, time, location, who was present, and what exactly was said or done. Send it ahead of time so they can digest the information and prepared with substantive next actions. This will help if you need to file a formal report with HR down the road.
Consider Seeking Employment Elsewhere
If the situation doesn’t improve, it might be in your best interest to start looking for a new job. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect at work. When a supervisor or manager is consistently berating you, it’s a sign of a toxic work environment.
I hope you find these tips useful if you find yourself in such a scenario. Following the rules are vital to your success in the workplace, and as you rise in the ranks of leadership, you too will encounter employees that do not follow the rule to the letter. As a leader you will learn that you must strick a balance. There are people in leadership role that do not necessary have the professional skills needed to excel in it.
The Peter Principle states that people rise to their level of incompetence, where they get promoted based on their past performance without having the necessary skills and composure to effectively lead at higher levels. This can create friction in the workplace, erode trust among staff, and hinder the growth opportunities for those who are capable of navigating such situations with ease. It underscores the importance of upholding professionalism, advocating for oneself and coworkers, and prioritizing mental health and dignity in the workplace.
